February 12, 2013

Dear Precious,

You are driving me nuts flipping through Muppet's Treasure Island. "Cabin Fever" really is not an awesome song the 10th time though. You are very cute for the dramatic climax crying "Oh, dear! Miss Piggy" as they fall off the cliff. I got you a heart shaped tangram set for Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy it. Your first loose tooth started yesterday. I hope it falls out soon. We need to take you to the dentist soon.

Love,
Your Maman

February 12, 2013

Dear Dearest,

I love you. I worry about your job though. I would like to point out if you'd put up your towels like I had asked last night, you would not have to scream at me this morning for one. It was folded neatly on the back of the couch.

I miss you, Dearest. I wish I could hug you right now.

Love,
Your Wife

February 12, 2013

Dear Mama,

I am irritated. I tried to make amends repeatedly. You cannot get along with Dearest. You have consistently put Precious between Dearest/myself and yourself. I've only sought to try to mend our relationship while protecting Precious. Precious is too young to understand these problems. Dearest and I want Precious safe at all costs. Dearest decided that you are too sick to visit with Precious. I wish you would seek help. I need proof that you're willing to change in order to get Dearest to appeal his ultimatum. Unfortunately, you leave nasty psychologically damaging messages to me in cards intended for Precious. I can't give them to Precious in the future; they're too embarrassing for you in my humble opinion. You illustrated that Dearest and I are a fence separating Precious and you in a pre-printed card. I am praying that this metaphor only occurred to you while signing and that you didn't stand in the store looking for a card to give you this juvenile parting shot advantage.

As a child, I only wanted a fairy tale ending. I didn't really want the Mama-in-law problems too.

Not Mama's Precious One

P.S. Please get help, Mama.